He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
