The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
