I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
