Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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