why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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