Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
