He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
