it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
