It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
