so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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