Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
