I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
