Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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