The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
