just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
