I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
that is very illegal...i love you.
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