isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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