that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
