insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
