I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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