where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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