absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
