i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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