Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
