I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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