Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
