Need sex. Gaining weight.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
