Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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