So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It's just like the Real World with babies
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
