it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
