Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
