You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
