Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
my liver is dry heaving
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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