I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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