IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
