we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
