you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
