you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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