I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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