I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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