About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
