Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
