Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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