1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
