dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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