So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
