I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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