College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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