There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
