Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
