He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I understand Curling. That high.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
